it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
