Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
