i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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