Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I think i got beer on your cat.
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