exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
