the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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