i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
