i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
