I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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