he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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