So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize