We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
birth control should be required to get into college
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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