Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
