She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
