I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
