That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
