OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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