I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
