So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize