Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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