I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
