so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
