Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
