sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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