i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
