he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize