saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Randomize
