This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
