Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
