so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
