you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
