She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm just crazy horny about you
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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