FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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