Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I just threw up on my dentist
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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