just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
