A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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