And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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