So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
