I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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