mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
