she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
