i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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