I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
