Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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