That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
