Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize