I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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