Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
