You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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