Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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