I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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