I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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