Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
