she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
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He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
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My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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