if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
