Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
