The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
