My hand turned me down
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
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well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
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Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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