best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
