Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
