we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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