Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
