I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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