hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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